Strong At What Cost?

I remember being in my mid-20s when a much older woman praised me for taking care of my children without complaining that their father wasn’t there to help. She admired that I was doing it without child support, and it made me feel like I was doing something right. I must be doing well, I thought.

But I wasn’t.

The woman who praised me wasn’t being malicious—she simply saw it as a good thing because so many women she knew were angry and bitter about doing it alone. I wasn’t angry because I didn’t know I could be. I didn’t know I had the right to expect help. If I asked and didn’t get it, I just moved on—what else could I do?

When you see something as an honor, you don’t question it. And if you are raised around Superwomen, you instinctively do things the way they did—sometimes without even recognizing it. We love and honor the women who came before us, but perhaps, in doing so, we have unconsciously taken on their burdens, too.

The women before us didn’t have the tools we now have. They weren’t able to connect the dots and see that the things they were doing were killing them softly. We have awareness today, but we also need the willingness to give ourselves permission to think differently.

We don’t have to make the same sacrifices—especially if we don’t want to. And if we do choose to, we can do so with boundaries, ensuring that we are not constantly self-sacrificing.

Strength and resilience are admirable, but it’s important to recognize that chronic self-sacrifice takes a toll on your health. For generations, women have been praised for their ability to juggle everything, career, family, relationships, and personal goals, all while appearing strong, capable, and unshaken. While resilience is a beautiful trait, the Superwoman Mindset, the belief that strength means handling everything alone can come at a high price.

Many of us were raised to believe that being strong meant doing it all, without help. We watched the women before us push through exhaustion without complaint, treating their struggles like a badge of honor. But strength without support isn’t resilience, it’s depletion.

The constant pressure to push through exhaustion, suppress emotions, and never ask for help often leads to burnout, anxiety, and even physical health issues, like high blood pressure and chronic fatigue. When self-care is seen as a luxury instead of a necessity, the body and mind eventually pay the price.

The effects aren’t just emotional. Studies show that chronic stress and self-sacrifice lead to higher rates of heart disease, weakened immunity, and even shorter life spans. Strength shouldn’t come at the cost of our well-being.

True strength isn’t about doing everything without breaking, it’s about knowing when to pause. set boundaries and receive support. Rest, self-care, and seeking support are not signs of weakness but essential practices for long-term success and fulfillment. Redefining what it means to be strong allows us to prioritize our well-being without guilt.

The pressure to remain strong at all costs often creates emotional isolation, making it difficult to ask for or accept help. Over time, this relentless self-sacrifice can leave women feeling depleted, resentful, and disconnected from their own needs.

This month, challenge yourself to shift your mindset. Strength isn’t about doing more, it’s about knowing when to let go. Where are you overextending? How can you redefine strength in a way that honors your well-being? Let’s rewrite the narrative, one that values not just resilience, but rest, joy, and the courage to put yourself first.